Chapter IX: Unferth Gets Ratio’d by Beowulf IRL

Chapter IX: Unferth Gets Ratio’d by Beowulf IRL💢

So this dude Unferth 🧢— certified mid-tier NPC and son of Ecglaf (💀 sounds like a Minecraft potion)—was chillin’ on the floor like a background character 😴, and suddenly decided to pipe up with 0 rizz.

Bro looked at Beowulf like 👀 and started spittin’ PURE jealousy:

“Ayo ain’t you that Beowulf dude who did the dumbest flex ever?? 😒 You and Breca did a clout-chasing swim battle across the ocean like a couple of sigma sea bros tryna get TikTok famous 🏊‍♂️💅 Y’all were like ‘let’s swim for vibes 😎✨’ and then nearly got cooked by Poseidon himself frfr. 🌊👹 Breca straight up smoked you, my guy‼️ Bro hit land first and got a hero’s welcome from the Brondings like he just dropped a fire mixtape 🔥🏆 So yeah… good luck with Grendel, lol. He gonna fold you like an IKEA chair 💀📉”

Beowulf, alpha king and grindset demon 🐺💪, literally sipped his gamer fuel and went:

“LMAOOOOO Unferth, my dude 💀💀💀 you been sippin’ that Mead Lite again??? You really out here spreading fanfic like it’s canon?? 🧢🍺 Nah fam, lemme drop the real lore 💯📜: I was HIM back then too 😤 I had the aqua rizz. Sharkproof. Sword-ready. Gilled up. 🦈🗿 Me and Breca were just two gym bros tryna do a lil friendly flex in the Atlantic 💦. No cap, I stayed strapped with my dripmail armor +5 defense and kept it 100 against literal sea demons. We swam for SEVEN NIGHTS 🫠 yeah, seven. While the ocean was giving ‘you will die in 3 seconds’ energy 💀🌪️

Then Beowulf casually drops this:

“On Night 5, we got split by some El Niño core-level storm, and that’s when I got dragged to the Mariana Trench by some underwater hater 🧌🔪 But plot twist: I clapped him. One sword swipe, that sea beast got DELETED 💥 That’s how I roll, Unferth. Stay mad.”

📈 Meanwhile, the squad is lowkey staring at Unferth like 😬☕, 'cause he just got hard ratio’d IRL.

Moral of the Scene: Don’t come for a sigma unless you're ready to get turned into content 🧢📉

Next up: Grendel’s about to get Ohio’d. 👹🇺🇸