Chapter XLIII: Beowulf’s Last Ride: Ohio Edition™ 💀🐺

Aight so the Geat squad pulled up, big sad energy 😔💯. They boutta send off their top G 💪 Beowulf with a funeral pyre built like a giga-chad bonfire 🔥.

They stacked that thing high af — helmet drip 🪖, sigma shields 🛡️, chestplate bling ✨ — all his fav loot. Beo told them to keep it 💯, so they laid it out respectfully, no cap.

Then they placed Big B himself right in the middle — like a final boss sleeping frfr 😴👑. Whole squad started sobbing, full-on sad boy hours 🥺🪦. The flames were CRANKIN' ‼️🔥 — smoke rising like a cursed Ohio BBQ 💨💀. Everyone stood there like:

“Damn… bro really logged off for good.” 📉💔

The fire was RAGING — cooked his bones like it was Rotisserie Sigma™ 😩🍗. The wind stopped outta respect. Even Mother Nature was like:

“He was HIM.” 🐐🌬️

The vibes were 💀 heavy. They were down bad. Even some NPC widow in the back was crying like she just got ratio’d by fate 😢📉.

🗿💎 The Legacy Hits Different Tho

10 days later ⏳ the Geats said “Bet,” and built a hilltop clout memorial 🔥⛰️ so sailors could see it from the sea like:

“Oh damn that’s Beowulf’s hill. W King.” 🫡🌊

They dropped ALL the loot in the barrow — rings, jewels, rare items 🪙💍 — just packed it in the dirt like:

“He can’t take it with him, but bro earned this W stash.” 💼🫶

No one’s gonna use it again — just sitting there, dusty and mad unlootable. It’s giving 💸 RIP to that bag 💸.

🚴‍♂️ Sigma Squad Pulls Up One Last Time

Twelve of his top-tier day-ones spun the block 🐎🚨 around his mound, throwing down ✨vibes and verses✨. They weren’t just NPC mourning — they were dropping poetic bars about how Beowulf was built DIFFERENT 🗿🎤:

“Bro tanked a DRAGON with no backup??” 🐉🔥 “Solo’d Grendel with raw hands???” 👊👹 “Literally top G. No debate.” 💯😤

They spoke on his name with LOVE and RIZZ 😢❤️:

“He was the most based king to ever live fr.” “Kindest? Check. Strongest? Check. Never fumbled the vibe. Never sus. RIP our GOAT.” 🐐🙏

💀👑 Final Words for the Sigma King

Beowulf = king of kings, humble Warlord, protector of the vibes, absolute W in human form.

Gone but never cooked 💯 Fallen but never mid 🫡 “Long live the sigma 🐺 in Valhalla WiFi.” 📶✨

🪦💔 Rest easy, Beowulf. You were HIM.