Chapter IV: “Beowulf Heard It From Ohio 💀👹🌊”
Chapter IV: Beowulf Heard It From Ohio 💀👹🌊”
So King Hrothgar 🧓 (aka Healfdene's homie) was deep in his feels 💔 every night — straight up cooked emotionally 📉. Bro couldn’t vibe in peace because this cryptid Grendel 👹 kept rage-quitting the party every night like it was a hardcore Ohio server at 3AM 💀. The vibes? 📉 Down bad. The kingdom? Running on 0 sleep. The trauma? Built different 😮💨.
Meanwhile… way out in Geatland (aka Viking GymTok), Beowulf — the original sigma grindset warrior 💪🗿 — was chilling, probably protein-shaking and benching dragons for cardio 🐉💥. He heard about the chaos going down in Denmark like:
“Yo there's this unspoken-rizz swamp beast pulling up to Heorot every night?? Just straight rage-yeeting villagers??” 👀💀👹
Beowulf:
“Say less. Pack my preworkout and chainmail, we finna slide.” 🔥💼💯
THE SQUAD ASSEMBLES 💪🛡️🚤
Big B told his gym bros:
“We’re sailing out tmrw. Gonna 1v1 this Ohio NPC and farm XP ‼️🔥”
His crew? Not even mad. They were like:
“W mission. W mindset. Go get that clout, king 👑”
He scooped 14 ride-or-die warriors, all maxed-out in loyalty and deadlift stats 🏋️♂️📈. They boarded this rizzed-out Viking boat 🛶 — real sea drip — and this one NPC sailor (lowkey sea-core 🌊🧌) showed ‘em where the Danish vibes were.
The vibes? Immaculate. The winds? Full W. The boat? Literally flying like ✨a bird with gym memberships✨ across the waves.
LANDING IN DENMARK LIKE: "SURPRISE, BESTIE 😘"
After cruising for a clean 24 hours (aka “a single Viking power nap” 💤), they pulled up HARD to the Danish coast — scenic cliffs, big Skyrim energy ⛰️. The squad jumped out, chainmail clink clank clatter like they were loading into a boss fight 💥🗿.
They were like:
“Touchdown in Denmark, baby. Let’s get this 💀 bread 💀”
They gave a quick shoutout to the vibes god (aka Odin maybe? Idk bro just be thankful 🙏) for the smooth sail. Then 💨 they started strutting off the boat lookin' like an armored boy band on a revenge arc 😤💅.
DANISH COAST GUARD NPC SPOTS THEM 😳🚩
Meanwhile this one Danish lookout (name not important, he’s a side quest guy 🧍♂️) was perched on the cliffs like a hawk with anxiety 🦅😬. He saw a bunch of swole dudes in shiny armor stomping off a sea bird-boat and was like:
“AYO WHO TF—??” 🚨👀
Homeboy RUSHED down on his horse like:
“Hold up hold up HOLD UP ‼️ Who are y’all? Why y’all dripped out like final bosses?? Is this an invasion?? Why’s that one dude (👀 Beowulf) built like Zeus's gym trainer??”
He hits them with the NPC dialogue dump:
“If y’all are here to vibe check the Danes, I’m gonna need to see some ID and trauma clearance forms 📝. No cap, y’all look W-tier, but unless you speak facts frfr, this might be sus. Sooo... name, clan, and why y’all sailing into my Google Maps coordinates? 🧭”
TO BE CONTINUED... 😈⏳👑
Beowulf about to drop the rizziest intro since Odysseus. Stay tuned. 💅📜🔥