Chapter XXXVIII: "Sigma Flex Till Death" 🪦🔥
Chapter XXXVIII: Sigma Flex Till Death" 🪦🔥
Ayo so lemme put y’all on real quick 👀—this part is WILD. Buddy Wiglaf (aka Wihstan's lil bro fr) heard the GOAT Beowulf got cooked by the final boss dragon 🐉💥 and was like:
“Bet. I gotchu, King 😤👑.”
He sprinted in FULL 💅 enchanted NPC-busting armor 💅, down into the crusty Dragon's Den™ like he was speedrunning Minecraft Hardcore ⛏️💨.
💰💀 The Ohio Hoard Reveal 👀✨
As Wiggy pulled up under the cursed barrow roof (aka Ohio cryptid cave 4real), dude saw the ✨loot of the gods✨—and I mean straight-up Elden Ring boss room type beat 💍💎🍽️.
There was:
- Piles of ✨gold so shiny it cured depression (almost)✨
- Drip 💀 from the ancient ones—helmets, arm bling, goblets, all hella vintage crusty-core 🛡️👑
- A glow-up banner that looked like it had RGB settings 💡👾
- The dragon’s old stash, just chilling there like it ain’t protected by a literal flamethrower with wings 🐉🔥
Bro was like “Ima need ALL that. No cap.” 💯
So Wiglaf, certified W collector, LOOTED it up Skyrim-style 💀—snagged the 💎 treasure, the 💅 aesthetic banner, and flexed on the ancient worm like:
“Ur not that guy anymore, grandpa 👴‼️”
The dragon? Dead af. Cooked. Ratio’d by Beowulf earlier 💀📉
⚰️💔 Beowulf's Last Sigma Words
Wiglaf pulled up to Beowulf like:
“Boss?? You still breathing or nah?? 👀💦”
And Beowulf was just laying there, full gory-core 🩸, peak “it’s giving... the end” vibes 😵
Wiggy tried CPR but it was looking BLEAK 😬💔
Then Beowulf opened his eyes, saw the bling, and dropped this final sigma monologue:
“Yooo 🔥 I really did that. Got the bag for the homies 💰. Thank u based God (aka the real Ruler 🙏) for letting me score W loot for the squad before I got hard-uninstalled 🪦💻. I’ve traded my last life-heart for XP and gold. Take care of the gym bros. I’m logging off 🫡💀.”
And he said:
“Build me a W grave-hill, make it ✨aesthetic✨ on the beach. Like, influencer-tier vibes. Call it ‘Beowulf’s Barrow’ so people sailing by be like: ‘Damn, that guy was HIM.’ 🐺🔥”
💛 The Last Flex: Beowulf Passes the Drip
Beowulf took off his ice (drip check incoming 💛):
- His gold chain 💎
- His anime-protagonist helmet 💫
- His anti-NPC armor 🛡️
…and gave it to Wiglaf like:
“You da last of the Wægmunding warriors, lil bro. Everyone else got sent to the shadow realm by Weird (aka Destiny.exe). You carry the legacy now 😤🐺.”
And then...
💀💨 Gasp Beowulf’s sigma soul dipped. No respawns. Final logout. Frfr. 😔🕊️
Rest in Rizz, King. Your grindset lives on. 🪦👑🔥🐉💯