Chapter XXXVII: Beowulf vs. Ohio Dragon – FINAL BOSS BATTLE 💯🐉
Chapter XXXVII: Beowulf vs. Ohio Dragon – FINAL BOSS BATTLE 💯🐉 🔥💀
So boom 💥‼️ The king (aka Big B, the sigmaest of sigmas 😤💪) was getting cooked 🔥 by the Ohio fire lizard 🐉, and bro really needed backup frfr. Enter: Wiglaf — the only W-friend in the whole squad who didn’t dip when it got spooky 💀👹.
Wiggy pulled up like:
“On God, not my mans 😤”
Dude went full “protect the king” mode, dropped his 9-to-5 NPC energy and activated his hidden main character arc 🧙♂️➡️🗿. Swung his ✨shiny sword✨ straight into the beast like:
“SKIBIDI SMITE‼️” 🗡️🔥👹
And guess what? That swipe actually made the dragon’s flame meter 📉📉. The fire was getting ratio’d by pure ✨rizz energy✨. While the beast was still reeling, Beowulf clutched up 🐺 and pulled out his backup blade — not just any sword, but the one that screams:
“I’m HIM.” 💯😤
Big B swung it clean through the dragon’s midsection. DEAD. COOKED. PACKED. Ohio cryptid defeated. L + dragon + treasure revoked. 🐉💀🪦
But it wasn’t a full W… 😔💔
Beowulf was lowkey poisoned from the spicy dragon bite 💀🔥. Dude’s HP was at 1% and flashing red. He was like:
“This finna be my last save point, no cap.” 😔📉
So he sat down next to this ancient stone wall that looked like Stonehenge built by giga-chads 💪🗿🏰. Wiglaf, still on loyalty mode 🫡, was like:
“Hold up, lemme clean you up, OG 🧼💧”
He wiped the blood, took off the battle drip helmet 👑, and gave his king one last refresh 🥺.
Then Beowulf dropped his final monologue like a true alpha 😤:
“No cap, I ran this server for 50 winters ❄️. Ain’t nobody pressed me. All Ws, no Ls. I stayed outta sus stuff 🚩, didn’t beef with kin, stayed on my grindset 📈. God can’t even cancel me — I lived clean and based. 😌🙏
“If I had a mini-me, a lil Beowulf Jr., I’d pass the drip to him 👑💼. But nah, it’s just me and this treasure now. Wiggy, my slime, go peep that loot cave 🪙💰 under the crusty rock. The dragon’s cooked.
“I wanna see the gold pile before I log off for good. One last W for the feed.✨📸”
👑💀🔥 LEGEND STATUS UNLOCKED 🔥💀👑 Beowulf: King of grindsets. Slayer of cryptids. Final boss of masculinity. Gone, but never NPC’d. 😤🗿🕊️
✨Press F to pay respects.✨