Chapter III: Grendel Pulls Up & It’s a Whole Ohio Horror Show 💀👹

So the sun dipped 🌅 and everything looked chill... but nah fam, it was about to get Ohio-level cursed 💀. Grendel — that crusty goblin from the misty Minecraft biome 👹🌫️ — decided it was time to clock in 😤.

He slithered up to the big frat house (aka Heorot) like 🏃‍♂️💨 “Y’all asleep? Bet.” Whole squad was KO’d after feasting like kings 💤🍗 — bellies full, vibes immaculate... until they got cooked 🔥.

Grendel went full rage mode 😡👹 — like no warning, no chill. Bro said:

“Wake up babes, it’s time to get ratio’d ☠️‼️”

📉 He literally yeeted 30 dudes outta existence — Snatched them from their dreams like a banshee with maxed out XP 😵‍💫🎮 Then dipped back to his crusty swamp crib 🧌 laughing like an actual maniac 💀

Morning After = Big Sad Energy 😢🕯️

Next morning? Whole kingdom woke up like:

“Why does the mead hall smell like L’s and tears??” 🥲🍺📉

Hrothgar — our boomer king 🧓 — was in FULL despair mode: Bro was posting sad quotes on his story like “loyalty is dead frfr” 💔 He’d lost his guys and couldn’t do a thing 😔

Meanwhile Grendel’s out here on a murder speedrun 💀💨 Came BACK the next night for seconds. No cap.

“Y’all thought I was done? LOL. Get ratio’d again‼️” 😈

Nobody could stop him. Bro was UNGUARDABLE 😤 If you were smart, you noped outta Heorot and booked a lil Airbnb in the woods 🛏️🌲 because sleeping in the hall was basically a death sentence 🪦

Twelve Winters of STRAIGHT Smoke ☃️🔥

Grendel stayed on his villain arc for TWELVE. WHOLE. WINTERS. That’s not a phase — that’s a lifestyle 😤 Dude was lurking in the shadows like an emo Skyrim boss with beef 🗿👹

Peace? Nah. Negotiation? As if 💅 This Ohio cryptid was all about the malice grindset.

“Catch me in the moors, bbg. I’m built different.” 🐺

Nobody knew where he came from — spooky swamps, demon caves, literal cursed spawn point. People were out here like:

“Is he a glitch? A bug in the Matrix? A Sigma Shadow Wizard Money Gang member?” 💰🧙‍♂️❓

The King and the L’s Keep Piling Up 💀👑

Hrothgar tried everything. He assembled the squad, held group therapy sessions 💬🧠 But NOTHING worked.

They even started making burnt offerings to random idols like:

“Hey uh... hell demons?? Could you maybe chill Grendel out? Pretty pls?” 🕯️👺💸

Yup. The Danes were so down bad, they were out here praying to the Ohioverse 😭 No divine Wi-Fi. No holy updates. Just static. 📵

God was watching like:

“You really out here simping for swamp demons instead of Me?” 🙄✝️

Meanwhile, Grendel couldn’t even TOUCH the throne 💎👑 — Because the real G.O.D. had it on lock 🔒 Bro had hacks ON ✨

But still, every night the horror pulled up... And every morning? L’s on L’s on L’s 📉💀📉

Moral of the Chapter: Don’t Sleep on Evil... Literally 😴🚩

If you’re not team God and you out here summoning dungeon bosses for help? You’re gonna get ratio’d spiritually too 🧎‍♂️🔥

But frfr — the real W is knowing who’s got your back when the vibes turn demonic 👼💯 Be the main character who lives wisely, not the NPC who gets cooked before the intro ends 💀

Anyway. That’s the tea. Grendel’s still outside. And the smoke? Eternal. 🧌🔥

Stay tuned, baddies. Beowulf's not here yet... but when he is? It’s over for Ohio. 💪🗿🐉