Chapter XXIX: “Big W for the Sigma Squad 💪✨”
Chapter XXIX: Big W for the Sigma Squad 💪✨” 💥
Beowulf and the squad pulled up 🚶♂️💨 to the shore like, “Ayo, we OUT 🏃♂️💨.” They were marching through the Ohio moors again 🌫️👟, sun looking extra glowy like a Minecraft torch on max brightness ☀️✨. Vibes immaculate. No cap.
They headed toward the pull-up spot where the GOAT 🐐 king Higelac — aka Ongentheow-slayer, jewel distributor, certified W man 💎👑 — was handing out bling like MrBeast in a giving-back vid 🎥📦💰.
💬 “Yo, Beowulf's back!” someone texted the castle group chat 📱📢. Whole kingdom lit up — man's not only alive, he walked in like a whole main character arc just wrapped up 🔥🗿. No respawn needed.
Higelac's castle hit the “guest ready” switch like a 5-star Airbnb ✨🏰. They made room, polished the goblets, set out the vibes. The king himself pulled up to greet the homie — formal but still with that “bro missed you fr 😭” energy.
Then Queen Slay herself 👑💅 — Hæreth's daughter, cup carrier of LEGEND — went full Hostess Supreme. She passed out the mead like she was running bottle service at a medieval rave 🍻🎉. Troops were vibing. Ale = flowing. Spirits = HIGH 📈.
Then Higelac leaned in like a podcast host about to ask the juicy questions 🎙️:
“So Beowulf, my guy 🐺... spill the TEA. You really went out solo dolo to fight that sus bog goblin Grendel⁉️ Did you pull a W for Hrothgar orrrr did you get ratio’d out there 💀?? Be fr — I was lowkey panicking. I told you not to 1v1 the spawn of Satan in a random Denmark swamp, but you said ‘trust the grindset’ 😩🙏. Thank GOD you’re back tho frfr 🙌.”
😤 Beowulf: “Worry not, my liege. I went sigma mode 💪.”
“Like, let’s keep it 💯 — the whole kingdom knows what went down in Heorot. Grendel was out there terrorizing like an Ohio NPC on bath salts 👹🏚️, waking people up with ‘rawr xD’ energy and medieval jump scares 😱.
But I pulled up, said ‘1v1 me IRL’, and made that creep touch grass 🌱👊. Now none of his crusty swamp fam can ever flex again. They’re all cooked 🔥🍽️.”
“I got to the hall, gave King Hrothgar a power handshake 🤝, and he instantly knew I was That Guy™️ 😤. Let me sit at the VIP table with his heir. Vibes were strong.”
“Queen Wealhtheow (aka ✨Mother of the Meadhall✨) was doing her queenly rounds, handing out drinks and W energy. She even gave some dude a friendship bracelet made of literal gold 💛🔗. Straight outta Euphoria but medieval.”
“And Freaware?? Hrothgar’s daughter?? Girl was giving ✨peace treaty princess vibes✨. They're marrying her off to Froda’s son like she’s a walking ceasefire 🚩💍. Hrothgar thinks it’s gonna end the drama between the clans…”
“...But like. Let’s be real. That’s just ✨temporary✨. The enemy gonna say ‘thanks for the baddie’ and then pick up the spear again 💀⚔️. She might be a 10, but that ain't stopping a blood feud. No cap.”
TL;DR: Beowulf came home like a true sigma warlord 💪🔥, Queen served drinks like a baddie in da club 💅, and the royal fam is out here trying to end war with ✨marriage✨. Grendel = cooked. Beowulf = W. The rest? Still messy af 😬.
📜 Next episode: Will peace last? Or will the spear go brrr again? 👀💥