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Chapter II: “BIG RIZZ HALL ENERGY (but make it cursed 😭)”

Chapter II: BIG RIZZ HALL ENERGY (but make it cursed 😭)” 💥

So boom 💥— ages before Beowulf started his sigma grindset 🐺, the land of the Danes was already vibing hard.

This one dude, Healfdene, pulled up as king after the last big boss respawned in Valhalla 💀. Bro was old, grumpy, but still lowkey a W leader 🧓🔥. Had four kiddos like it was a side quest:

  • Heorogar = elder emo king 👑
  • Hrothgar = main character energy 🚨
  • Halga the Good = wholesome boi vibes 💅
  • Elan = pulled Ongentheow, a War-Scylfing giga chad 🐺💍

Anyway, Hrothgar started leveling up FAST 📈. Dude had so much clout that his squad was like “bet, say less” every time he opened his mouth. Absolute rizzlord energy.

So one day, Hrothgar’s brain hit MAXIMUM BUILDING MODE 🧠💥:

“Yoooo, let’s build a MEAD PALACE so insane it'll make Olympus look mid 😤‼️ I’ll drop gold like MrBeast, no cap.”

And thus ✨ HEOROT was born ✨ — the biggest frat house slash mead-hall slash influencer crash pad in all of Ohio 🏰🔥. Fully horned up (literally had antlers), massive W build, towered over the moors like it paid rent in God’s neighborhood.

💎 Hrothgar kept his promise: 🥇 Gave out rings like it was Oprah’s giveaway 🍗 Hosted feasts that went straight TikTok viral 🎶 Harp music playing daily, bard dropkicking lore like Spotify Wrapped

The vibes? Immaculate. The bards? Spittin' bars about how God literally speedran Creation mode 🌍✨:

“God fr made the Earth, dropped the sun + moon DLC ☀️🌙, installed trees and creatures and hit publish like ‘that’s a wrap’ 💯‼️”

BUT THEN...

💀💀💀 ENTER GRENDEL: THE CURSED NPC FROM THE MOORS 💀💀💀 aka the cryptid your mom warned you about aka Ohio’s most wanted goblin 🧌👹

Bro lived in the marshes like a soggy L 😭. Banished for being built like Cain 2.0 — cursed bloodline, God said “you’re not on the list” and smited him 📉. Cain’s whole vibe was so toxic that all his cousins turned into:

  • sea monsters 🌊
  • feral giants 💪
  • cursed elves 🧝‍♂️
  • actual ops 😤

Now Grendel was watching Heorot pop off every night like:

“These dudes LAUGHING⁉️ In MY swamp? While I rot in the shadows like an unpaid intern??”

Every harp note? Every “cheers bro” clink? Every warrior with too much mead and not enough shirt??

📉 It was cooking him from the inside. Bro was malding.

And that’s when it started… The red flags 🚩 The sneak attacks 💥 The Ohio Arc 🫣

👹 Grendel was ready to go FULL VILLAIN MODE. The hall had a W vibe — but dark energy was about to ratio it into the dirt.

💀🔥👹💅 To be continued… 💅👹🔥💀