Chapter XIX: “✨GIFTED & GLORIFIED, BABY‼️👑”
Chapter XIX: GIFTED & GLORIFIED, BABY‼️👑”
So like, Beowulf just clocked in another W 🐺💯, and the vibes in the mead hall were immaculate frfr. 🍻 Everyone’s like, “Let’s shower this sigma with ✨loot✨.”
They pull up with a beaker of that elite NPC juice (aka mead) 🍺, like “Here u go king 😤 take a sip for the gains.” Then BAM 💥—they drop twisted gold chains and arm drip so iced out 💎 it made the gods blink twice 😳‼️
“Ayo this that vintage legendary loot 😤 Only real ones like Hama ever touched this kinda bling before he went ghost mode and dipped outta Eormenric’s city 💀 stole the whole Brosingmen necklace like a giga-chad and said ‘I’m out, y’all mid.’”
📜💀 Lore drop: Higelac (aka Beowulf’s homeboy, the OG Geat king 🐐) used to rock this jewel when he was repping hard in war ⚔️—but he got cooked by the Frisians 🤕💔. Man tried to cross the stream with all that treasure like, “I got this,” and then… 📉Fate hit him with a surprise L. Dude folded under his shield, and the Frank dudes looted his body like it was GTA. Respawn = not available 💀.
Anyway, back in the hall, it’s big mead energy 🍻😵💫, everyone lit, and Queen Wealhtheo steps up to the mic like a classy baddie 💅📢:
🧓💬 Wealhtheo's TED Talk: “Stay Based, King”
“Beowulf, my man, enjoy this absolute W of a necklace 💎✨. You earned it, no cap. Use the armor, rock the gems, and keep winning. Be a king who slays and teaches the squad to stay humble and hydrated 💅.”
“You pulled up and made us go from ✨mid✨ to ✨legendary✨. Now everyone from here to the edge of the literal ocean 🌊 gonna say your name with respect 💯.”
“Also, like, pls be nice to my son. 🙏 He’s a sweet boy, kinda soft but like he tries. Don’t let him get ratio’d.”
“Right now, all the nobles are vibing. Loyalty? ✅ Peace? ✅ Squad ready to throw hands if needed? ✅✅.”
“Y’all better stay in line tho. I will be watching. 😤📡”
Then she just peaced out like a queen, hit the settle like “That’s enough slay for today 😌👑.”
🍖🍷THE TURN UP (ft. Doom™)
Everyone started feasting like it’s their last day on Earth (🧠 foreshadowing?? 👀). The wine was flowin’, vibes were HIGH 🍷🔥, but destiny was like…
“LMAO not for long 😈.”
No one knew the timeline was about to get cooked 💀. As night hit and King Hrothgar dipped to his cozy grandpa crib 🛏️, the squad got comfy too—posted up with pillows, shields, and war-ready drip 🛡️.
One of the beer-thanes (aka the local tank 🍺🛡️) tucked in like, “This ale hit different tonight fr…” and went to sleep not knowing he was about to get clapped by fate 😵💀.
But these Geat dudes? Always built diff. Even when snoozin’, they got the helmet, ring-mail, and weapon stats all maxed 💪📈. Whether chillin' or charging into battle, they stay strapped for the algorithm.
Because in this squad?
🗿 Battle is always just one Ohio event away.