Chapter XV: Big W Energy 💪🔥 (The Aftermath of the Ohio Cryptid Beatdown)

🏰 Hrothgar’s TED Talk (Live from the Hall)

So King Hrothgar pulls up to the squad house like 😮‍💨🧓✨, standing there by the pillar looking at the ceiling like it’s the Louvre, all iced out in gold gems 💎🏠. And he’s staring at Grendel’s whole-a\$\$ arm nailed to the rafters like it’s some twisted NFT 💀👹✋.

Bro goes full emotional grandpa mode:

“Lowkey, this is such a W moment. No cap. God really said ✨let there be plot armor✨ cuz I was down BAD fr. Grendel had me ratio’d for months — blood, guts, mid vibes everywhere 😵🩸.

Never thought I’d see the day where I’m not waking up to Ohio screeches at 3am 💀. But then ✨God dropped His favorite soldier✨ — a real sigma king — into my life.

Beowulf, you’re HIM. Like actually. Your mom deserves a trophy 🏆 for birthing a whole main character. If she’s still around, someone get her a spa day and a PS5 or smth.

I don’t just respect you. I love you like you’re my own son now. You’re officially out of the NPC pool. From now on, you’re on that exclusive Main Character Subscription 💳🐺.

I’ve given loot to way more mid-tier warriors for way less. But you? You solo’d a cryptid with W rizz and zero backup. Your clout’s going 💯📈 forever. May God keep sending you buffs and crit hits, king 🙏🗿.”

💬 Beowulf Responds Like a True Sigma Warrior

And then Beowulf, still standing there with main character posture 😤, hits him back with:

“Ayo that boss fight? EZ clap, not even sweating 💅.

Me and the squad walked into that Ohio backroom with zero fear. I was READY to body that gremlin. Wanted to keep him alive long enough for you to witness how cooked he was 💀🔥.

I even tried to hit him with the handcuff combo 🤜🔗🤛 — was gonna put him on livestream in chains for the whole kingdom. But the dude had that ultra-sus slipperiness and dipped like a Roblox hacker 🧌🚪💨.

Still, man left the scene lookin' like he rage quit IRL. Left his whole ARM behind — shoulder and all. Just... sitting there. No respawn.

Now he's somewhere deep in the shadow realm, taking psychic damage every turn 💀. Trapped in God’s eternal L lobby, waiting to get judgment-day ratio’d by the divine mods. Frfr 🙏.”

🧢 Unferth = SILENCED

Meanwhile, Unferth — aka Mr. Mid, the local hater NPC — just stood there like 😬📉. Man had nothing to say now that Beowulf literally hung Grendel's arm like a cursed trophy on the wall.

The whole squad saw it too — that arm looked like it came straight outta a horror mod 👹🖐️. Fingernails like forged steel, claws that could slice through plot armor. Everyone agreed:

“Yeah nah, ain’t nobody touching that. Bro’s arm got that ✨ Eldritch DLC energy ✨. No sword wants that smoke.”

TL;DR:

Beowulf pulled a sigma move, ratio’d Grendel IRL, got adopted by Hrothgar, silenced the haters, and unlocked max-level loot + legacy buffs. That’s on grindset 🐺🔥💯.