Chapter XIV: Beowulf Just Ratio’d a Demon and the TL Is in Shambles
Chapter XIV: Beowulf Just Ratio’d a Demon and the TL Is in Shambles 💥
🌅 Early morning vibes hit different—the squad was posted up outside Heorot like it was the Met Gala 👑. Word on the TL spread fast: Grendel the Ohio swamp demon 👹 got absolutely COOKED by the gym bro of destiny, Beowulf the Sigma slayer 🐺💪.
Warrior princes from all over pulled up like:
“👀 Yo... y’all see them crusty footprints?? Bro really dipped leaking like a busted Capri Sun 💀‼️”
They peeped the trail—Grendel was limping away like he just got ratio’d by a Viking. Bro was down BAD, literally dripping Ls all the way back to the sus lagoon where he spawned. 🧌🌊
🩸 The water? RED. Like Grendel tried to drop a mixtape and flopped so hard the river said “unsubscribe.” 🩸 The vibes? Toxic. 🩸 The current? Basically a blood smoothie. 🤮
Grendel crawled back to his Ohio cave, posted up for one final NPC nap 💀. Bro died like he lived: weird, moist, and full of Ls. Hell swiped right on him instantly. 🔥👹📉
🏇💨 Meanwhile the warriors were like:
“Alright, let’s bounce. That was peak side quest.”
They dipped back on their stallions 🐎 lookin’ like Renaissance Faire influencers, but the TL STAYED thirsting over Beowulf. Everyone was saying:
“No cap, ain’t NO ONE north or south of the Minecraft map doing it like this dude. W leader frfr 💯.”
Even the old king Hrothgar got zero hate—dude was vibing in his king era, no shade, just respect for the OG 👑💅.
📖 But then this lorekeeper bard NPC pulled up like:
“Y’all ever heard of SIGMUND tho?! 😤”
And proceeded to drop some high-tier old school fanfic:
“So Sigmund, right? Certified dragon clapper 🐉💀. Dude went solo (no Fitela DLC required) and ran the dragon’s fade with nothing but rizz and a blade. Got the bag 💰, got the glory 🌟, and dipped with more gold than a Twitch streamer on subathon day.”
TL;DR: Sigmund = GOAT-tier. Weapon? Legendary. Dragon? Deleted. Loot? STACKED. 📈📈📈
But THEN he hits us with the plot twist:
“Y’all remember Heremod?? 😬 Bro had main character energy but fell off HARD. Got cooked by haters, got kicked out the group chat, turned full villain arc. Huge L for the kingdom.”
They thought he’d be the next big thing. Instead he became that one disappointment cousin who talks about NFTs unironically 🪙💀.
🏇💨 But Beowulf? Nah. Beowulf’s glow-up was DIFFERENT. Dude was pulling W’s left and right, Higelac’s nephew with max charisma, strength, AND moral compass. Every tribe was like:
“He HIM. That’s HIMothy. 🗿🔥”
But even then—haters gonna hate. Jealousy was LURKING. 😤🧢
🌞 As the morning hit harder than a Celsius at 7 AM, the warriors zoomed around on their roadsters 🏍️ like:
“AYO, WHO WANTS TO SEE THE CORPSE WATER?? 👀”
Big crowd energy. Hrothgar popped out the palace like:
“Ayo, this a family field trip now ✨👑✨”
Even the queen pulled up with her entourage 💅. It was giving ✨royal victory parade✨. Beowulf? Still humble. Still him.
Stay tuned for the next ep, where Beowulf levels up again and the grindset continues 🐺🔥‼️