Chapter XIII: Beowulf vs. Ohio Cryptid, Final Round 💥👹🏆

Grendel really thought he could pull up to the mead hall and not get ratio’d into the swamp 💀. But Beowulf, the sigma warrior with infinite rizz and zero chill, said:

“Nah fam, ur existence is an L to the whole timeline 💯.”

This man did not come to vibe. He came to end careers 👊😤.

Meanwhile, the other Geat bros were like 🫡 swinging their “vintage” swords (aka lvl 3 iron blades, mid ngl ⚔️📉), tryna back their boy Beowulf. But frfr they were just doing ✨moral support✨. Like:

“We gotchu king!!! 🔥💪💅” (as they absolutely did NOT got him 💀)

They didn’t know that nothing—and I mean NOTHING—could touch this Ohio demon 👹. Swords? Cooked. Axes? Useless. Bro had built-in DLC armor and was literally bugged against weapons 🛡️💥🗿.

But Beowulf? Beowulf said:

“Skill issue 😤.”

Dude grabbed Grendel’s crusty little claw and started violating him 😭👊. It was giving “gym bro vs. NPC energy” and Grendel was getting absolutely cooked live on stream 🍗🔥📉.

Grendel’s arm?

💥 SHATTERED. Shoulder? 💀 UNPLUGGED. Whole body? 📉 Disconnected from server.

He dipped back into the swamp limping like a defeated Roblox boss 🧌🚶‍♂️💔. Man was looking for a respawn point but found nothing but depression and moist moss 😭🌫️.

He knew it was over. No cap.

Bro got the “You Died” screen before he even logged out 🕊️.

And the Danes? Hype meter: 📈📈📈📈

“WE’RE SO BACK 🗣️🔥‼️”

Beowulf had cleansed the vibe. No more Ohio gremlin pulling up at 3am to ruin the party 🪩👹🚫. Hrothgar’s crib = safe. The mead hall = saved. The people = un-traumatized for the first time in years 💅✨.

Beowulf was basking in the post-W glow, like:

“Yeah, I did that. No biggie 😤🐺💯”

Dude wasn’t even tired. He just hung Grendel’s full arm like a trophy under the ceiling like:

“Look what I caught in the wilds of Ohio 😎🫴🎯”

THE GRINDSET PREVAILED. Beowulf: 1 | Cursed demon: 0 🧌☠️ #SlayedNotSaved #SigmaSweep #OhioBossDown