Chapter XI: “No Sleep in the Sigma Suite 😤💤👹”
Chapter XI: No Sleep in the Sigma Suite 😤💤👹”
So Hrothgar dipped 🧓👑 — squad in tow — headed out like “ight Imma head out 🛏️” to go snuggle up w/ Queen Wealhtheow 💅💕. King been thru enough, said "let the gym bros handle the night shift" frfr.
He put Beowulf on Grendel Watch™ 👁️👹 — big trust, no cap. The vibes were tense. Whole hall like: “If Beowulf can’t tank this L, we all cooked 💀🔥.”
But Beowulf? Bro was chillin’. Calm. Collected. Full sigma grindset mode 🧠💪.
🛡️ “THE DRIP COMES OFF, THE SMOKE STAYS ON” 🔥
Beowulf peeled off the ironcore gym fit 😤 — ditched the helmet 🪖, handed the legendary chain-sword (aka Excalibae) 🗡️ to his boy like:
“Yo hold this, but don't touch the blade — she bite 💅.”
Then he literally tucked himself in 💀 and hit everyone with a pre-bed TED Talk:
“Listen up. I ain’t scared of some Ohio swamp goblin 🧌‼️ I got raw hands, maxed-out stats, and divine plot armor ✝️📈. Grendel? Bro’s got zero combat XP. Dude fights like an NPC with Joy-Con drift 😵💫🕹️. I’m not even gonna use a weapon — gonna raw dog this boss battle. No cap.”
💤 “NAP TIME, BUT MAKE IT THREATENING” 🐺😴
So sigma bro laid down. Head on pillow 😴. Sleepin’ like he wasn’t about to get jumped by a cursed demon-frog from the cornfields of Ohio 💀🌽.
Squad followed suit — all his gym bros KO’d 😪💤 — but deep down, every one of them thought:
“This the end. We just got ratio’d by fate 📉👻. We ain’t making it back to the homestead. Grendel finna speedrun our souls 🏃💨💀.”
They knew the wine-hall had been cursed — Grendel had been farming kills here nightly like it’s a horror-game lobby 🎮👹.
✝️ “BUT GOD SAID: ‘NOT TODAY, SATAN’” 🙏🛡️
But guess what? ✨Plot twist✨
The Lord upstairs was like:
“Lemme bless this man’s KD ratio real quick 💯✝️.”
He gave Beowulf & the squad extra XP, cheat codes, AND guardian angel DLC 😇📈.
One man. One sigma. One W incoming.
👣 “ENTER: THE CREEP FROM THE CORNFIELD” 👹🌽🌑
The vibes turned hella spooky. Night got lurky. Moonlight? Non-existent. Whole place felt like a Walmart at 3am 😬🌚
Grendel — aka the original backrooms cryptid — started creeping and skibidi-strutting into the mead hall like:
“Time to farm some Geat souls 😈💀”
But he didn’t know... 💀
One man was not sleepin’ 🫣
Beowulf was awake 😤. Fully locked in 🧠. Pure sigma energy radiating from the bedroll. Waiting.
Waiting to 1v1 this NPC into oblivion.
📉💀💥👹
TO BE CONTINUED… 💥🔥🛌🗿