Chapter X: “💪 Beowulf Claps Back at the Haters & Preps to Solo Grendel 👹”
Chapter X: Beowulf Claps Back at the Haters & Preps to Solo Grendel 👹”
Y’all ever get jumped by sea monsters before breakfast? 💀 Cuz Beowulf did — and still woke up a W 😤💯
“These goofy lil ops thought they could ✨snack✨ on me underwater 💦👹. Sry not sry, I served them Ls with my lvl 999 enchanted drip-sword ⚔️🔥. No cap, they got ratio’d before brunch. Couldn't even get a nibble 😭🍴. I was the ✨main course✨ but they left hungry frfr.”
So there he was, bodying underwater NPCs 💀. Next thing? The sun did a dramatic anime entrance 🌅✨, waves said “I’m out,” and bro saw the cliffs like:
“Ohio ocean level: Completed ✅. Caught 9 sea goblins lacking. They got cooked so hard, Poseidon reported it to HR 🧌🔥.”
And Beowulf drops this bar like it’s a diss track:
“Unferth, bby, where were YOU during the boss fight? 🤨 Cuz I don’t remember you slaying anything except your own fam 💀🧢 That’s not rizz. That’s just ✨hellbound behavior✨. No sword stats, no grindset, just vibes and war crimes.”
👑 "Hrothgar Gets Hype" 🎉
Hrothgar heard Beowulf’s speech and was like:
“SHEEESH‼️ This man’s got that main character energy fr 🔥🗿. Dude’s not here to play. He’s here to S L A Y 👑.”
The whole mead-hall turned into a frat party 🎉. Warriors clanking cups, swapping memes, talking like they were on Viking Discord 💬⚔️.
Then ✨Queen Wealhtheow✨ enters, walking like a goddess with a +10 charisma buff 💅👑. She's passing out drinks like:
“Y’all better slay responsibly 💅. And Hrothgar, pls hydrate 🧃.”
She makes her way to Beowulf like:
“OMG TY for saving our mid-tier kingdom 🥺💖. You’re literally the only competent man here 🙏🫶.”
She hands him a mega-sized chalice like it’s a sponsored GFuel drop 🍷✨. Beowulf sips once, levels up to max, and says:
“I didn’t row all the way from Geatland 🚣♂️ just to vibe. I’m here to cook a demon. If I die? At least it’ll be with ✨rizz✨.”
Queen Wealhtheow: [internally screaming in queen] “This man is everything 😩💍.”
💤 "Night Falls. Vibes Get Ominous."
Meanwhile the vibes shift 🕯️. Darkness falls like:
"It’s giving… Ohio after 10PM 😶🌫️👀."
Everyone's like “ight I’m out” and starts logging off for the night 😴💤. But not before Hrothgar gives Beowulf some dadly advice:
“This mead hall is yours now, bro 😤. Hold it down. Slay responsibly. Watch out for the sussy swamp gremlin 💀👹. And if you survive? We got banquet-level rewards incoming 🍖💰.”
And Beowulf’s just standing there… shirtless… glowing under the moonlight… staring into the abyss like an absolute sigma 😤🌕🗿.
Tomorrow? Grendel pulls up for his L.
To be continued… 🔥👹‼️